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The Prison Of Repetition
When the thought of ending it first came, I was shocked beyond belief. I never expected to get such depressing thoughts. Then I pondered about it, and then I shunned it altogether. Yes, of course, suicide is an option to break away from the rat race. Wake up, work, sleep, waste the weekend, retire and then die; I hated that repetitive cycle. But then I realized that I still had the will to live. I still wanted to enjoy things. I still found pleasure in things that gave me joy.
The food that I craved, the movies I liked to watch, the occasional visit to the house where the women stayed, and all that. But I had to work too hard during the week to enjoy those moments. And I have been told often that pleasure is valuable only after experiencing pain, but the pain I had to endure throughout the week of the rat race, didn’t make it worthwhile. So slaving for all those hours during the week didn’t entice me for the paltry time I got in the weekend. I was stuck in a repetitive cycle that could only be broken by death or retirement. It almost felt like I was in a prison of repetition.
That’s when I had the thought of ending it. But I instead decided to get away for a while. I wanted a change of surroundings to think clearly about my future. So I decided to pack a few things and just started walking. I walked in the direction where I saw…
